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My second grade teacher gave me my first journal. I don’t know why, she gave me a journal because as a child I hated to write(yeah, someone who’s passionate about writing, hated it). I was super lazy with everything I wrote. She literally made me stay after school to made sure I understood the importance of writing. There was a time where She wanted me to write down everything that I thought of or felt(good or bad, write it down) or saw – write it down. As a child, I had a speech therapist – from elementary to high school, life became real after high school because I had problems speaking “normal” like everyone else(whatever that means). Sometimes I get tongue tied, people will look at me like I’m crazy and it’s embarrassing because people would think I come from another country but, I’m born and raised in Florida. (Nothing is wrong with coming from another country but, it gets annoying whenever people tease you on how you speak and act like they know where you come from because how you speak.)
One day I locked myself in a room closed the windows , made sure everything was dark because I didn’t want to see any light. I lay in bed and cried myself to sleep , shut my phone off and cry till I can’t anymore. Sometimes I throw things in the dark , not caring if I could of broken something but, at that moment I just wanted to be gone. I didn’t want to be on earth anymore, but I don’t know. One minute I’m crying nonstop then the next I see a journal and here goes my mind taking me to another place. A place away from my fears, tears, depression, anxiety, a place where I’m distracted with peace in writing. I wrote down whatever I can write down. If I’m angry, expect a ten page essay and if I’m sad it’s the same thing. My grandmother always told me to pray and write. I didn’t know why she always remind me to do those things but, slowly but, surely writing became something that I knew was meant for me. I have to thank my second grade teacher Ms.Harris and my beautiful grandmother(RIP) for this passion plus my savior, my Heavenly Father who planted this passion in me.
Whenever I had a crush on a guy, I would write out my feelings. Oh no baby, it’s not no “do you like me? Check yes or no?” (Lol). It’s more of a “Dear, Gary……. you look handsome today. I notice you had a new haircut, I really like how you presented your project today. You’re so smart. I like you, do you like me? Yes or no”(lol) and Gary rejected me then embarrass me in front of the whole school then everyone looked at me like “you like the popular guy but, you’re not even popular”. Before, you ask: yes, my first crush name was Gary and yes, I remember what I wrote. Gary was a jerk because he ripped my note in front of everyone instead of a simple answer of a “no”(blah). A simple rejection would of been better for me(lol).
If I’m in a relationship with you, expect a good morning text or an encouraging text to make your day because I love making those I care about days with meaningful words. Communication through writing is the best way for me to express myself and communicate.
Anyways, writing has always been a tool for me to see a better light in a day or something about writing helps me to have an understanding of life. Whenever I want to tell my friends “what’s wrong with me?” Expect a novel because I will write a whole book in details(lol). When #whyIWrite was trending on twitter last year in October. I loved everyone’s response because they understood me and I felt like as writers, we understood each other.
I remember in high school, someone told me they couldn’t understood why I write and what’s the point of writing. Writing can be a headache for them and at the time, I couldn’t be honest and say “but, I love it” because some people thought “if you write a lot that means you’re writing out suicidal thoughts. You might have a suicidal journal”. Yes, I’ve been told that and before, I never got a chance to honestly be myself through writing because writing is a joke to some and I don’t believe writing is a cry for help. Writing is something to think and create in your own way(which is what I love about writing).
If you were to ask me “why do you write? What’s so important about writing?”. Well, #whyIWrite ? Because writing brings me peace, joy and love to myself. I get to explain how I feel through writing and I get to create stories of characters I’ve never met before but, can relate to. I have a chance to spread love through writing because I believe words are meaningful. #WhyIWrite because I love writing and writing helps others to smile, to feel loved and to feel important. I feel important whenever I’m writing. I feel important whenever I’m thinking through writing. I know it must be “weird” to create stories about characters but, I don’t care because at the end of the day, you can relate to these characters and sooner or later I will introduce you to these characters of mine.
#WhyIWrite , I write because writing saves me from exploding from emotions and feeling alone. Don’t get me wrong, some days I don’t feel like expressing anything through writing but, later on I always come back to writing. My love for writing is what makes me care about myself and love myself. I understand action speaks louder than words – which is true but, meaningful words can truly change you and turn things around for you. #WhyIwrite because I write for others who need to feel loved, uplifted and feel like they’re enough. I write because I love what I do. Writing is love.
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You dodged a bullet with Gary. He doesn’t follow directions. You asked a simple question and instead of answering he took it to the extreme. Be thankful for that, lol. It’s amazing that others have seen the gift of writing in you before you could see it in yourself. I see writing as a way of cleansing of what’s on my mind. Whether good or bad.
Lol Exactly. A simple question goes perfect with a simple answer but, I guess not. Thank God I did dodge the bullet 🙌🏾. And agree writing can also be a way of cleansing for bad and good ♥️.