On July 2nd,2013 was the final day. You lay on the hospital bed couldn’t spoke to anyone but, you smiled. Mom and dad knew what was next but, I didn’t. At the time, I didn’t want to believe what happened. I pray and pray for you to get better because I knew you were a strong woman who wouldn’t let anything held you down.
Doctors and nurses came in and out of your room, I sat next to you, prayed for you to get better because I knew my grandma wasn’t going anywhere and you were going to get better because God got you. You once told me “Stacey, I’m not leaving this earth until you get married and have my beautiful great grand-babies”.
So, you couldn’t leave me, us or anyone who needed you because you were sunshine in our lives. Before I left you, I wouldn’t say goodbye but, I told you I loved you and kissed you on the cheek, you smiled and on that night made me knew – okay, you’re going to be fine. Your smile warmed my heart but, on July 3rd, 2013, we got the call that you’ve passed away. I didn’t want to believe it because you smiled at me, I didn’t want to believe it because you were my sunshine and my sunshine can’t be gone because you’re suppose to wait till I get married and be there with my beautiful babies(lol). I felt numb on July 3rd but, deep down inside I knew it was your time to go.
I didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t want to accept anything on that day. I felt like my heart was broken into pieces and there’s no one who could of put it together. Once, it was time to say goodbye, I didn’t want to because I needed you.
*Sign* I wish you were here.
I wish I can hear your laughter again.
I wish I can hear your stories again.
I wish I can see your smile and feel your love again.
If I were to say “I miss you” I feel like it would of been an understatement. Don’t get me wrong, I miss you oh so much but, I wish you were here with me, with us, with family.
You were the sunshine to my darkest moment. You were my sunshine to a cloudy day. You were someone I looked up to because you didn’t let anyone or anything stop you from a smile plus based on your stories, you lived life happily.
You helped me to understood the importance of forgiveness and heartbreaks. You helped me to express myself from falling down. You helped me to understood life is too short for stress or to be worried. You told me, most important thing to do in life is live. I never understood why you were always cheery or always had a smile on your face but, I knew your story and where you came from. I knew you were in your moment of smiles. Everyone loved you because of your smile and crazy stories.
You once told me “Stacey, don’t let these boys play you. Play them, before they play you.”(lol) but, always told me – one day I will meet my prince charming and you’ll be there to witness the love I deserve. I don’t have my king yet but, I wish you were here to witness the love I’m giving to myself because you knew how hard it’s been to love myself. You always remind me about self-love, self-care, God loves me and you loved me.
You knew exactly what to say but, your hugs made up for every setback and downfalls I’ve dealt with. You knew exactly what to say to anyone to make them feel important.
My sunshine.
My forever sunshine.
Your faith, your love, your smile, your stories,
What you stood for will forever be in my heart. You will forever be in my heart and I know you’re watching over your babies(including me lol) and don’t worried I will get married(one day, in God’s timing) and of course, if God’s willing for me to have a girl, my baby girl will have your name as her middle name(like duh, lol).
Forever my sunshine…
Forever in my heart….
12/03/1921 – 07/03/2013 ❤
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