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Dear Queen,

I miss your smile(lol).

Truth is you never smile in any pictures but, there’s a memory in my head that I can’t let go. I remember you said you’re too cool to smile in pictures. Which is why I do not need a picture to remind myself of your smile.

I miss your laughter, I miss seeing your excitement to wake up in the morning. I miss your cooking. You most definitely knew how to cook and no one can cook the way you do(lol). What I miss most about you? I miss your stories. You’ve told some crazy stories and I love them. Thank you for your storytelling. I will cherish those moments forever because it was our moment together. 

I miss your life lesson talks, but I also miss the care you had for others and making them laugh because you loved others. You showed you had a heart because you never judged. You have shown you care, you forgive and you move on. Grandma, you made it look easy but, I’m sure it wasn’t easy to forgive those who have treated you badly but, you always told me to not forgive people for them, it is more for you to let go and to move on with life. I miss your hugs, and I miss you hyping me up whenever I felt like there’s nothing special about me. You’d reminded me there is something special about me and I appreciate you for every single minute I spent with you. 

You had a beautiful spirit, You lived a beautiful life. You weren’t perfect but, you were the best grandma that a girl could ask for. On your last day, you smiled, you smiled like you had nothing to worry about. You smiled like you were going to be okay. You smiled like you were proud of your life and you made sure you reminded me, there’s nothing you regret. You were loved and you loved beautifully. I felt your love and I miss your love. I miss the continuous questions of “when will you get married? I will not leave this earth without you getting married”(lol). At the time, I was 18 years old. I remember I told you “grandma, i’ll never get married”(lol). You gave me the funniest look and said “no. there’s a man out there for you. Not right now, but there’s a man for you.”(lol). Whenever he appears I wish he could have met you because I know you would have interrogated him. 

If you were here today, you would have told me to stop letting them get to me and stop letting them control my life because I only have one life to live. Live it with no regrets and do what makes me happy. I don’t know if I want to cry or I want to smile because whenever this day comes and you come to mind, I miss your laughter and your encouragement. No one knows me like you do but, I know it was your time and I know you lived a beautiful life and I hope one day I can tell my future children about you because one of them will have your name because your spirit lives on forever. Forever you are my queen. Forever in my heart and forever, you are the best storyteller(lol). Love you forever and always.

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