Dear Concrete Rose,
“Did you hear about the Rose That grew from Concrete proving nature’s laws wrong ….”
Girrrl what a year, what a year and it’s not quite done yet. Looking back on 2018, so far literally flashes through my mind like a whirlwind. You know in the films how people’s lives flash before their eyes… yeah, something like that but, minus the impending doom of immediate danger (all praises to the Most High). I feel like everybody has been put through it this year. 2018 really seems like a staple year of “Buckle up it’s gonna be a bumpy ride” and Lahd mi Jesus dis ride nah easy, but I’ve made it through so far. We started 2018 praying for it to be better than 2017, Setting intentions and maintaining a mantra of “God will provide”.
At the start of this year you were good but, uncomfortable. Uncomfortable like claustrophobia, like Daniel Kaluuya in Get Out when he first starts feeling like things aren’t right in the white girl home; that not settled, internally, irritated can’t quite put my finger on it. So, I’m just Urrgh and KMT and noises are the best way we can convey this. Also, in addition to this we had vowed to be celibate following a break up.
You were in a job that was a contract- not comfortable, to a person you were vibing with, who isn’t in the country – also, not comfortable. You begin to question yourself as to where you were planning to go in your life, how could you stop this type of feeling etc… To alleviate some of this stress, you decided to start your own blog that you’ve been mildly obsessed and planned from the end of 2017. Outside of this feeling, you’ve all intent and purposely have been Living Your Best Life.
We have left the people in England four times this year as we had set our intentions to.
You’ve cussed out a Giant , shrunk him to size and settled his soul in Copenhagen, you didn’t know who he thought he was shouting and swearing at because he got me all the way confused (personally it was mildly racist , and too cold for me to have any f-cks to give; but your girls and your level of cussing meant that we smile and laugh because your response to it, is always f-ck Copenhagen! You attended Soca
The level of Growth that you’ve experienced has been immense. I mean leaps and bounds you’ve felt like the Lord had decided that you’ve must experience this year Solo, test your character and your faith in him. In your solitude, introspection and discomfort you believe that you’ve grown as Tupac’s concrete rose. A symbol of beauty and strength. You’ve lost your job, but have the time to reconnect with yourself, finding your voice, exploring your spirituality and in your celibacy (out of choice because you deserve more than that half-hearted peen). Thought you’ve overcome the discomfort of being alone and wanting to settle. You’ve overcome the trauma of having someone broke into your home with you still in it, your first encounter of real racial abuse and the police dealing with it. slowly overcoming the anxiety of not being where you thought would have been at this time of life. You still have fears of starting Beyond Eden like, Will people like you? Will they understand you? will you be relevant? But your vibe attracts your tribe. So, even if it becomes 5 people that is more than enough. You’ve healed friendship with your bestie, getting y’all back in each other’s lives back. Best of all, you’ve not compromised one thought, feeling or behaviour #GROWTH.
You’ve learned to Roller-Skate – kind of, (Issa big deal I like to keep my feet firmly fixed to the ground) with warm regard to the @fix8 crew and love for the @skate_tingz. People demand all the lovely chocolate people who inspired and encouraged me.
You’ve never been so thankful to your friends and family that you have in your life than you have this year. Your Soca ladies. your Mas bands who has kept you wukking n whining. @cocoa- abroad and @desiregreen who has kept you inspired and brave. Your bosses’ friend who has put so much time effort and positivity into your life.
You’ve celebrated marriages and births, engagements with your high school girls.
Had the best year with your god children. Met wonderful inspirational women. You’ve over all felt fuller.
you’ve learned to be selfish with your space, energy and time. To recognize the signs from the universe and am cultivating this practice into my life small, small and you were reaping what is sown. ME.
This Year is fast approaching its closure, and this gives me anxiety. I am not complete. I have not finish learning, growing, and understanding. I’m budding but, I’m not ready to Bloom. I have realized that this does not take away the awe of coming through my struggle.
By God’s Grace I’m here, and I wish for 2019, I’m back on the path of my career and slaying it, that I have my Tribe of Roses in my garden Beyond Eden and conquered Vlogging (that’
2018 you have been extraordinary, I am Thankful and inspired. Renewed to how favored I am and confident- ish that I can weather a storm.
May 2019 bring me and all those weathering a storm more Love Peace and Magick.
“Long Live the Rose that grew from Concrete”- Tupac Shakur
You Can Find Sarani: