Waiting For Attention From Others Isn’t Self-Love.

How many times you’ve read or seen it around social media, receive advice from someone close to you or a life coach that “if you don’t love yourself then how are you going to love someone else?” *Raising my hands*

 

When it comes down to people I care about, my love for them is real. Most of the times, I would focus more on their needs than my own needs. I would forget about myself because I didn’t know how to love myself but, I knew how to love others. I tend to put myself in the backseat and sometimes in the trunk of the car (sounds harsh but, it’s the truth). My love for others was different compare to how I’d  love myself. It’s like “Why should I love myself?” “What’s so great about me that I deserve to love myself?”. I’m sure we’ve all been there through the stages of questioning ourselves “WHY?” orWHATS THE POINT?” but, there is a point; the point is loving yourself is important as taking care of yourself. I think it’s okay to say you can love others while not loving yourself but, if you can’t love yourself – is your love for others genuine?????

 

During the summer, I order a book called “I love my love” by Reyna Biddy, you should check it out – it is very heartwarming and you can feel so much love from reading it on how she learned to love through relationship, family and friendship – what she went through in her life and learned to love herself…. In her book, it says:

“Loving yourself is the most fulfilling and beautiful love that life has to offer. Unfortunately, we’re all looking to love someone…. We’re all looking to be loved by someone, first.”   

 

“loving yourself is the most fulfilling and beautiful love that life has to offer.” 

 

YES! Loving yourself is the most beautiful love that you can ever have in life (except receiving unconditional love from the powerful man himself – The Most High). Other than that, loving yourself is beautiful.

 

Loving yourself is very important because how can you love others when you can’t love yourself. How can you tell someone “I love you” but, you’re not willing to tell yourself “I love me?” …?  Back to my question, if you can’t love yourself is your love for others genuine?

 

My best friend use to hated the fact I wouldn’t love myself for who I was and who I could have been. Also, she didn’t like the fact I kept putting myself down.  I would tell her “I love you! You’re the best friend I could ever have” And she wouldn’t believe me because I wouldn’t love myself. Although, she knew I love her but, she wanted me to love myself even more and that’s what it is. There’s nothing wrong with loving yourself more than others (that’s how it’s supposed to be).  During my self love journey, I’ve learned You’re not selfish because you love yourself more than others.

I don’t care if you don’t like me, I love me. 

 

Side Note: When someone hurts you, never think there’s something wrong with you because there’s nothing wrong with you but, don’t allow the hurt affect you from loving yourself.

 

You see in magazines or Social media of the perfect bodies, perfect skin or perfect life and seems perfect but, Ummm *clear throat* news flash NO ONE IS PERFECT. No one has the perfect body or the perfect skin or the perfect everything. My question to that is, to love myself Why should I focus on someone else’s life than mines? Why do I need attention from people? Or from a man? Why? What’s the point of getting the attention from others? To love myself?

“Unfortunately, we’re all looking to love someone…. We’re all looking to be loved by someone, first.”    Reyna Biddy

There’s my answer. back then I didn’t like the way I looked. and we’ve all been in that stage before – we hated our bodies and everything about ourselves but, as soon as someone “amazing” comes along and gives us “attention”, tells us “I love you” and gives you compliments after compliments that is when you’ve started to love yourself more but, what happens when no one gives you attention that you’re craving for or the compliments has stop – what happens???

I love myself too much to settle for less. I am worth more than what you’ve said.

Well, do you still love yourself? If the answer is no then I know how you’re feeling because back then, I needed someone to tell me I’m great to believe in myself or to tell me I’m beautiful but, sadly I had more negative comments than positive. it was hard to love myself because of the words that has been said to me. As I grew up and took some time to myself physically, mentally and spiritually- I realized my life is not about those who believe in me and I love myself too much to put all kinds of energy towards negativity. It was tough and a journey to get to the point of loving myself and knowing I deserve nothing but. the best in life.

You don’t need someone to love yourself, all you need is yourself and God – he’ll love you unconditionally (trust me on that one) and he’ll bless you with amazing people that will love you differently because everyone loves differently. So, why is self-love and self-care important? Well, ask yourself “Why is selflove important to me?” because  the way I love myself and take care of myself isn’t the same as how you love yourself and take care of yourself. My answer would be:

to be great in life you need to love yourself,

to grow and to learn you need to love yourself,

to dream, to take risk and to do better you need to love yourself.

And lastly, to love others, you need to love yourself.

Love is beautiful. So, my beauties tell yourself this:

 

“I love me! I will achieve anything that I want to achieve in life. I will go far in life. I will not focus on others but, I will focus on me. Is that being selfish? NO! I believe I will do so much more in life. I believe in myself- I love myself too much to let myself down. Will I fail? YES, but I will get back up and try again till I succeed. My life is my life, my dreams is my dreams and my vision is my vision. No matter what I’ve done in my past. No matter what people have said to me – I am not perfect, no one is perfect. I am beautiful, I am not her. I Am me!  I am not here to please anyone, nothing I do in life would be enough for those who have an opinion. I love myself too much to let someone try to ruin my dreams or my life. I am enough and what matter is – I love me. Yes, I do. I love me, I am bold, I am gorgeous, I am amazing, I am passionate, I am brave and I am enough. I will work hard for my goals in life but, I’ll take care of myself by putting myself first and it isn’t selfish to put myself first. I will become successful in life – just watch and see because I LOVE ME” 

 

Here’s a little reminder: No one can stop you from fulfilling your dreams in life, you’re the only person who can hold yourself back from loving yourself and living life. So, ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE but, first love yourself. First step to self-love is self-care, in order to love yourself you shall take care of yourself….

Comment below: What are some things that you love about yourself?

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